The thing you’ve fought for, slaved for, torn off limbs for… you’ll finally get it.
Then? Then the ecstasy will wash all over you.
That’s how it works, right?
It’s the myth of fell-swoop happiness.
The lie that has you back-loading your life to the point of collapse… pinning it all on this desperate hope that as long you put your time horizons far enough out, somehow, someday, all the shit will finally come together.
THEN you’ll feel alive again.
THEN you’ll wake up without that fear in your belly.
THEN you’ll get your body back.
THEN you’ll spend that “quality time” with the kids.
1. Someday never comes.
There is no grand alignment.
There is no parting of the clouds.
If there are angels, they do not sing.
I remember setting my target to make my first 1 million Naira. When it happened I was beyond excited,but then the more it happened the less exciting it was, to me it became just another phone alert, a ritual, when I see the beep, l check my phone and I continue what I was doing, it no longer meant anything, I began to look for new goals.
These goals… when you achieve them, there will be a momentary surge of satisfaction. A sigh.
And then, faster than you can imagine, you will re-calibrate. You will pick your next mountain.
It’s what you do.
2. You must find happiness HERE, NOW.
Happiness is not some far off reward at the top of the mountain.
It’s the oxygen you must breathe to get there in the first place.
Your life is littered with past ways of living that made you happy:
That meal you used to cook for your family.
The laps you used to swim at the pool each morning.
The literary fiction you used to read.
The home-brew beer you used to make.
The evenings you used to spend laying on the hood of your truck with the headphones on.
These aren’t distractions.
They aren’t temptresses sent to keep you from the mountain.
They are ways of being happy: free jewels your life has given you.
You are a thoroughbred race horse… and yet here you are, eating moldy straw in the rain.
You are a king, and believe me you are a Queen, meant to live on joy, love, and fire, not bleeding yourself out in infinite loops of delayed gratification.
Happiness isn’t some far-off, one-time, “now’s your chance” wager.
It’s not something you “hope” for.
It’s something you build into your life one taste, one pause, one “why the hell not” plunge at a time.
It doesn’t matter if you’re in the belly of the snake.
It doesn’t matter if your night’s so dark you can’t even see your hand in front of your face.